...someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us."
I've been thinking a lot about my singleness and life in general this past week. I guess with seeing the recent changes in some of my close friends' lives, I can't help but have stuff on my mind.
After writing my post last weekend, I started searching for quotes like the one above as a way to comfort myself. I used to love finding random quotes when I was in high school. For some reason, reading quotes like the one above leave me feeling optimistic and believing that love is somewhere out there for me.
Then, yesterday, a healthy living blog I read had a guest post from a 29 year old who got in shape and is now looking for love. Reading the comments on this post was comforting since there were two or three who said they had never had a boyfriend and a few who said it had been years since they had been in a relationship. Here's the link to the post.
Later on, I was scrolling through my favorites and came across this letter to Glamour magazine from a 24 year old who has never had a boyfriend.
Reading both the blog guest post and the Glamour letter really put things in perspective for me in that I'm not alone. Sure, some of the people who commented on these posts may have more relationship/sexual experience than me, but when it comes down to it, they're really not that much different from me. I guess they got me to realize that it isn't that big of a deal that I don't have any romantic experience in my 24 years of life. There are times where it feels like a big deal because I see the people around me moving ahead with their lives and I sometimes feel like I'm just stuck and am going to be in this place forever. I guess I just have to stop caring about other people's lives and focus on my own and hope that things will work out the way I want them to eventually (hopefully sooner rather than later).
Honestly, finding this little blog community has been a blessing for me. I discovered it almost a year ago after my friend (the one who just got married) got engaged. I remember feeling horrible about never having been in a relationship after getting the news and ended up going to a bookstore as a way to clear my head. I later came home and typed "never had a boyfriend" into Google and stumbled upon
Never Had A Boyfriend's site which led me to the many other sites I now read. I remember spending hours reading almost every single post written on these sites and feeling a huge sense of relief in knowing I wasn't alone since many of these posts were ones I could have easily written myself.
Anyway, I guess for now I'm going to work on being more optimistic about my life. I'm going to try to not stress about never having been in a relationship and just take each day as it comes. I realize that this is easier said than done and I'm sure that I'll have down days, but I'm going to try not to let myself get too upset about the way my life is right now.
you're in a rare situation, i won't lie bout that. but at the same time, you're definitely not alone. i didn't even have a boyfriend till i was 29. and i didn't even really start to worry bout being alone forever till i was 25. so i'm pretty sure things will eventually work out for you. and taking each day at a time is a good thing.
ReplyDeletereading this makes me feel a little better, I feel the same way too. and like jo says, things will work out and taking each day at a time is good.
ReplyDeletePS. the link to the healthy living? inspiring
I never expected those kinds of comments. The fact that so many women could relate because they had either been in my shoes, or ARE in my shoes...I finally felt as if I wasn't alone.
ReplyDeleteI think all we can do is try our best every day. Sometimes, even in trying my best, I find myself in a puddle of tears. But gone are the days where I will feel guilty for feeling sad. If we don't feel it and let it out, it's unhealthy for the soul. The important thing is we pick ourselves up after the tears and keep living.
Stay optimistic. I promise I'll do the same if you do, too :)