Finding Love At The Gym

Never Had A Boyfriend recently made this post about a column she occassionally reads. This particular column included a letter someone wrote in about approaching this guy at her gym that she's interested in. I happen to sort of relate to this letter.

You see there is this guy at my gym who I have become very interested in in recent months. He's someone who has been going there for awhile, but I never really payed much attention to him until recently. Probably because the other guys I was interested in disappeared.

Anyway, my crush on this guy intensified when he suddenly started working at the gym back in September or so. It kind of sucks that he works there now, too, because I pretty much only see him once a week now instead of almost everyday and that's when he is there working. I very rarely see him there working out now.

I also think there is a slight chance that he may be interested in me. There have been times where I think he may be watching me work out, but I'm not sure. It may very well be one of those things where he is looking at something else. There was also a time, about a month or so ago, where I went to get a magazine from the little desk area he sits at and I'm almost 100% sure he was checking me out. I'm not sure how to describe this, but he was kind of just standing there next to me as I was looking for a magazine to read and it was like I could just feel him watching me, as crazy as that sounds. It only lasted for a few seconds before me moved, but it was one of the most intense feelings I've ever felt.

But then there's that little voice in my head that tells me I was just imagining it, and that I also imagine that he sometimes looks at me while I'm working out. I guess I feel like I may be imagining this stuff because it's like it would be too good to be true, you know?

Every week, when I know I'll see him there working, I tell myself I'm going to make eye contact with him and smile, but I never do because I'm so scared, which is just stupid. There was a time where I did have to approach him to give him something someone left on a tredmill and I was terrified. I might as well have just ran away after giving it to him.

I know this is stuff I need to get over now, but it's so freaking hard. I feel like I'm constantly talking myself up before going to the gym, only to panic when the moment comes to smile or whatever. I guess the reason why I get scared is because making any form of contact would mean opening myself up for a possible relationship for the first time ever, which kind of terrifies me. Right now, the gym is pretty much my only option of meeting someone, besides online, which is an option I'm not ready for yet, so it's either get over these fears or continue being lonely.

Reading this letter and the responses to it has made me a little more determined to get over these fears. How I'll do that, I don't know. I know there were some people who commeneted that wearing headphones while working out is a no-no, so I guess I'll try ditching those (although it almost kills me to do that since listening to music sometimes gets me to work out harder).

Any advice you may have would be greatly appreciated :)